Appearances May Be Deceiving

For all the women still able to, or having to work…Just how exhausting is it getting yourself ready and putting on your ‘happy face’ for work? Exhausting! High fives to all who blow-dry or curl their hair! You GO, girl if you put makeup on! My dad’s mother was a cosmetic buyer forever, and watching her ‘put on her face’ was the source of many a fight between the 4 siblings (even my brothers wanted to see). It was a ritual. She was a beautiful woman who taught me the importance of good skincare, which I continue to this day. Clean, clear, well-moisturized skin goes a long way in my book. I can’t say, honestly, that I look sick any longer (most of us probably don’t). I look sad, but not necessarily sick any longer. I look tired. Who of us gets the kind of sleep we once had? I know at times, I probably look mad (I am!). At this moment, I look older than I’d like, due to being too tired to color my hair (I have a white halo effect going on right now). Who am I kidding with that? My husband took over that job a few years ago! I couldn’t even imagine going through my old morning routine! It was minimal I assure you, but I get tired thinking about it.

Before being hit with Labyrinthitis, I didn’t have trouble sleeping. I was SO a morning person! It was easy to wake up without an alarm, jump in the shower, brush my teeth, etc. I rarely used a blowdryer and occasionally, minimal makeup (hippie chick, remember?). I’d wake up eager to go to work, how many people can say they LOVE their job like that? I was the person you ‘hate’ because they’re so perky in the morning, even Monday mornings! I laughed, joked, and played throughout my work day (keep in mind I worked with children!). I was always baking something yummy (appetizer cheesecake anyone?). I baked fresh bread, cookies, and such. Yeah, I was one of those…I get it now. I get how irritating it can be to see another so perky and chipper when you feel horrid. I miss that old me… Pssssst…You’re still in there, Margaret! To all of you, YOU are still in there, too!

My daily life now? I sleep well, but only because I take Ambien. I have to ‘weigh out’ each day, just what I can accomplish, in OT we call it Energy Conservation. An example: My hair needs to be colored and even though Mike does it for me, I still have to sit there with my head in bizarre positions. I shouldn’t gripe but I have a lot of hair, so it does take quite a while to do it all (maybe 1 1/2 hours?). Then I have to get that crap all out! I have to wash my hair twice, condition it, wash my body, dry off, and put lotion on my 5′ 10″ self…That’s usually it! I’m done! Totally exhausted, but my hair looks great again…Even though I claim my hippie side, I have enough BareMinerals makeup to fill a professional style bag! I have false eyelashes (antiques by now!) in there! Every once in a while, I’ll pull it out, dust it off and just look at it all…BIG sigh…I remind myself, “But your skin looks great”…

I was once known for my fashionable dressing. Now? I live in clothes that make it ‘appear’ I work out, like yoga pants and a cami top…day in, day out…BORING! I am quite capable of making my clothes, I’ve sewn since age 7. Being so tall, I learned to piece together patterns. From there, I learned to make my own patterns. I worked as an ‘In-House’ Designer for a clothing manufacturer. I had a Bridal and Evening Wear business for 10 years, where I showed my Original One-of-a-kind creations with a Designers Guild twice a year. I designed our daughter’s Wedding Gown, all 9 yards of fabric with 748 gold beads and 432 pearl beads, thank you very much! And I wear yoga pants and a cami top and sometimes, I have difficulty deciding which color to wear…Sigh…

When I left my job, there were many changes going on…They were discussing us beginning to wear uniforms, the horror!Where’s the fashion sense in a uniform? We were just beginning the switch from handwritten Progress Notes to Computer notes. I HATED it, absolutely rebuked the idea to the end! Here in the USA, it is Occupational Therapy that is fighting to keep Cursive Handwriting ‘alive’. My mother ingrained all her children the importance of handwriting. That was a huge part of my job, teaching handwriting in the school system. Now? I live on my laptop and have become quite competent with the 21st Century contraptions…I feel lost without my laptop now, so very odd to me, a computer would become my social life! The truth is, sitting here as I am, secure where I am, I don’t feel dizzy, maybe because I’m in bed?

With the modifications I’ve put in our shower (a shower chair and a grab bar), there are no problems in this aspect of getting ready for my day. Minimal as my preparation is for an outing, there are still going to be one of those days every so often. This old hippie will tell you, “You are gorgeous! Just the way you are. You don’t need makeup to be beautiful, as you already are beautiful. Haven’t we been through worse than being seen without hair and makeup?” I encourage you to just try going makeup free for a day… Just your stunning clean, moisturized face and a big smile! For those who do wear makeup daily, you are a stronger person than me, truly! I am not anti-makeup by any means, either. It’s just more work than I am willing to do…Do you feel you ‘have’ to wear makeup before going out? Do you wear it even when not working or going somewhere? Has your mate never seen you without makeup?

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